Oh, no. I gave in. My head started blogging at 4:35 a.m. and now I’m awake doing just that. And for some reason the above image is what my brain chose to accompany this post. Not sure why. Maybe it will all come together in the end. But I hope my brain doesn’t make a habit of this. I enjoy my sleep. Does that ever happen to you? You think of a main idea and before you know it you’ve got a whole paragraph written in your mind?
Some questions have begun to pester me ever since I started this writing blog. Why am I writing this blog? Who is my audience? What should my focus be? How is this different from my family blog? Or should I just meld the two blogs and include my writing stuff into my family one? How open am I willing to be? Which of my myriad opinions am I willing to share therefore opening myself up to criticism? What if I post something that offends someone? These are the questions that wake me up at 4:35 a.m. And as a caveat I probably won’t answer all of them. At least not today.
All I know is I love to write. That’s all I really know for now. I always have. I’ve kept a journal since I could scrawl letters on a page. There’s never been a time when I wasn’t inventing stories. It’s always been a way for me to process my emotions and, to be broad, my life. Strong emotions are possibly the fuel for my writing. It’s evident when I review past journal entries. (I don’t journal-write every day. Only on the days I feel compelled.) Most of them have an overarching theme of “today sucked” or “today was the BEST.” There are very few ho-hum entries. My posterity is going to think I was bipolar. But the truth is that, fortunately or unfortunately, strong emotions make me want to write. This blog gives me an opportunity to unearth my thoughts and emotions to whomever might be listening.
Early on in this line of questioning it became clear that I needed a separate space from my family blog. My family blog is more of a travelogue of our family adventures, mostly of my son, Jed. A huge part of my life is my family and I do want to showcase that. But I don’t necessarily want to be a mommy blogger that focuses on the deep, often controversial, motherhood issues. Nah, there are already so many good ones out there. A lot of controversial ones too. But I do want a space where I can go and be…me. Perhaps a slightly deeper version of me. Dr. Suess said, “There is no one alive who is youer than you.” I love Dr. Suess. So literary with all his silly rhymes and his cacophony of sounds.
My focus will probably change and grow over time. Blogging is a different animal, as they say. It’s different than writing in a journal, a college essay, a magazine article or a novel or short story. For one thing, I need to get faster. I can’t fret and rework things again and again the way I do with my book. And I need to be willing to put my thoughts out there knowing that some may disagree. Keep in mind, the last thing I want is controversy. But you never know what will strike a nerve with someone. I must allow myself to write what's in my heart. With that in mind, I'll use this blog to share things I'm passionate about, lessons I've learned, my favorite things, and my progress as a writer. I hope to become better at this, like learning to dance. Aha! I knew I would find it: the conclusion to this entry that is all over the place. One day I hope to be able to do “the lift” so to speak. For now I’m just clumsily carrying a watermelon.